Last day ....

It has been hard to find space and time to blog.  And now that the trip is coming to an end I am filled w unexpected emotions.  It is not that I don't want to return home, but there is this little cocoon that surrounds when one is traveling... It is an odd thing and maybe it is unique to me, but I have this opening that happens and a cocoon around it... Hard to articulate but this mental and emotional state allows for me to take in new things, new ideas new sights and sounds and sensations.  And it seals me in so that this is my "new now," and I can go with it and flow w it.

The flow over the last ten days has been about planes and jeepneys, tricycle motorbike taxis, vans, boats, etc.

We have met people I only imagined before.  We drank coffee offered by long bean farmers and learn to harvest and to hold the beans in our arms like we were cradling a baby.  We heard their "ask" when they said come home and tell people about the plight of the farmers fighting land grabs by greedy corporations.  We witnessed modern dance done barefoot in the dirt outside by two community organizers surrounded by children who read us poetry in their native tongue.

We were injected w the sounds of traffic and were driven by some of the most daring and skillful drivers (and last night by a frighteningly timid one).  We watched as young and old men peddled one two three and more around on little motocross box bikes w sidecars attached and learned to just breathe and believe when some of the most unbelievable near misses happened again and again.  All respect goes to real Philippine drivers out here.  In a word: damn.

We were hosted by amazing people.  Watched children work w large knives as they cut up fresh cassava to roast for us and we were guided by Chen in Manila and Rhea and Nody in Iloilo.  These women made us feel protected and they helped us get vans and jeepneys and enjoy delicious meals and meet with youth and groups we could have never connected with had we not been under their guidance.

Chen missed her Valentine's date to be w us while we were stuck in traffic and attempted to get home from the One Billion Rising march ... That adventure included vans, jeepneys, failed taxi attempts, walking... And was a wee bit stressful for our first day in the Philippines  :-)

Rhea arranged for us to meet children at a pre school where a youth advocate works and their staff prepared local delicacies for us to enjoy.  

We then got  to meet w local coffee roasters and to see some bad ass peer

Counseling via radio and text message!  For dinner she took us to a section of town being revitalized and where a stage w some great cover bands played some music and acknowledged us from the stage.  

She also took us to a true cultural exchange with a high school on an island famous for mangos.  The students performed for us, acknowledged us, dialogued w us and treated us like rock stars.  Amazing.

The cocoon is transforming and I am holding on.  More to say about everything , especially the learnings... For now I am feeling fortunate and grateful.

Internalizing love in the Philippines

Foster youth in the US grow up without enough of a lot of stuff.  We don't have enough safety.  We often don't have enough food, adequate shelter... Most of us miss out on a lot.  What we mostly miss out on is love.  

Today our hosts Rhea and Nody set us up to visit a high school in a small island off of Iloilo.  I thought we would greet a few people, hand off some school supplies we collected and just get a peek.  I couldn't have been more wrong. There was a program.  There was a meet and greet w the principle.  There were a number of performances: dancing and singing and one of the numbers like an epic Oscar's pageant!  

The youth were waiting for us when we rolled in on our rented Jeepney.  They waved and seemed excited.  All I could think of was how disappointed they would be when they realized it was just us and not anyone super special.  They waved from the street.  I clenched w nerves.  The student government lined the stairway to the principle's office and greeted us in unison as we past by.  We were escorted to seats in front of the incredibly lush and enormous outdoor pavilion where about 1,000 students were sitting in their blue and white uniforms.  The program started w acknowledging the Foster Youth Cultural Exchange- something that I am still getting used to.  They kept calling me up as the leader, which I am normally ambivalent about, but I went with it because they were showing respect and it felt like it was better to follow their lead.

Long story shortened.  They asked us to say a few words.  They made a welcome poster/chalkboard in beautiful script, they made us guests of honor as they performed song and dance, they offered us a token of appreciation in three beautiful baskets of local (and delicious) mango.  They cheered for us when we were introduced and fed us local delicacies on a beautiful table set on stage while the seniors were organized to hold dialogue groups with us.  There was a team of Girl Scouts who pulled our chairs in and out, made sure we had water and asked to carry our bags.  This enormous school rally was for us.  They essentially they treated us like rock stars.

I offered a few words about what FYCE is but really what was most important that I say was that they made us feel so special today that perhaps the years of loneliness we felt in foster care were treated today because their love and attention was like a make believe experience.  So full.  So unexpected.  So deep.

To feel love and appreciation like that, esp from strangers in a country outside of the US, was an  experience that I was absolutely not prepared for...

I could not help but feel special.  I mean they just really made us feel like visiting dignitaries!  And so something moved inside me...I had a feeling that I could never once again feel the same way I had before.  Because today I was appreciated and valued and people that I care for and appreciate were by my side, up on stage, being asked their perspectives, and equally treated as special.

Once you are loved deeply do you ever have to return to your old self that felt neglected or ugly or not good enough?

And once you have been treated so well by strangers could you ever forget about it and not pay it forward?  

Not me.  Love got Into me today.  Loneliness received an antibiotic.  And my education about how to be a good host went up 10,000%.

The Foster Youth Cultural Exchange will go on.  We are forever grateful for this day today.  I know it healed me some.

Well yesterday was a great day and today is going to be pretty awesome as well. Im kinda just taking it all in and trying to acknowledge my own emotions toward what I'm feeling. I've never seen anything like this and kind of in shock with it all. Today is going to be a good day

Well it's Friday and the first day of being in Manila! So far so good. Im super excited to learn new things while out here. Kate, Ipo, Eli and I took a walk around the neighborhood this morning and it was definitely an eye opener. To walk around and see the living conditions and yet everyone who lives here is so happy definitely makes me greatful for what i have. Time to head and find some food.

Counting Down the Hours

A few weeks ago I received my Typhoid and Hepatitis A shots at the Walgreens in Marina,CA. My total for both the shots came out to $208. I received my paperwork for the shots and after I was administered the shots I asked the pharmacist if there were any side effects that were not mentioned in the fact sheets for the shots. Mid sentence, the pharmacist fainted. Not only am I traumatized by shots, but his incident didn't make my experience any better. 

I'm currently on the CalTrain to San Francisco. I have my backpack filled with books and snacks. I'm glad I brought my book light this time (it's usually something I forget). I also brought luggage with me. Luggage consists of one large suitcase filled with shoes, clothes, hygiene products, vitamins, some pens, pencils, and toothbrushes I plan to donate, and other necessities for the trip. Jennifer, the case manager for Path+ (Peacock Acres Transitional Housing 18-24 year olds) and our new CYC Monterey Chapter supporter drove me to the San Jose Diridon station. She commutes to Salinas for work so she brought me to the station on her way home after work today. I anticipate arriving in San Francisco at 9:01pm. I plan on taking a cab from the station to Kate ( our CYC Regional Coordinator)'s house. 

Kate is one of the other 8 people traveling to the Philippines. We depart the San Francisco airport tomorrow at 12pm so Kate and I will travel together from her house to the airport for our morning flight.

I'm nervous, anxious, and excited. I currently have a cough and some congestion. I think and hope that these symptoms are just the vaccinations kicking in. Over all, I think I'm as ready as I can be for this trip. Who else is ready?